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Single, pregnant women are more common these days than ever. Whether the pregnancy was unplanned, or the father did a runner, when single pregnant women are asked one question about their situation, they’re asked a thousand!
Many questions can be too personal, and some downright rude, so if you do know or come across someone who is single and pregnant, perhaps take a look at the below list of what NOT to say!
1. “Where is the father?”
If you know she is single, leave it at that. Perhaps he is somewhat involved, gone, passed away, or she went to a sperm bank. Whatever it is, let her volunteer the information. If she wants to tell you, she will.
2. “Was it an accident?”
While there is a chance this pregnancy was unplanned, I doubt the mother would like to keep referring to her new child as an accident. It’s very negative, and doesn’t surmise the beautiful experience that is to come.
Perhaps just say, “That’s fantastic! How are you feeling?!”
3. “Did you weigh your options?”
As in, did she consider abortion? Highly inappropriate, invasive and insensitive. And, frankly, none of your business.
4. “Don’t you think your baby needs a dad?”
Sure, many dads are fantastic, but many are not. Maybe the absence of the father wasn’t her choice. Not to mention the fact there are other men who can be the male influence in the baby’s life, such as an uncle, grandfather, close friend and so on.
5. “Can you even afford a baby?”
Give her the benefit of the doubt. Assume she’s not as hopeless as you might think, and she realizes that a baby costs money. There are few questions more personal than financial questions. How will she afford a baby? You don’t know, and it’s best kept that way.
6. “What will you tell the baby about the father?”
Whatever she deems fit. That is a conversation for far down the road, and it’s likely not at the forefront of her mind given all the changes and experiences she’s currently going through.
She’ll know what to say when the time comes.
7. “How will you handle a baby … alone?”
Chances are, she won’t be alone, even if single. There are always friends and family to help out, and if not, she will find a way. Perhaps offer your help should she ever need anything as an alternative to this question.
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