Something that is not always considered, during pregnancy, is the care of your marriage. You are excited and likely a bit nervous about the new baby that is coming. It is easy to get caught up in all the preparation from stockpiling essentials to decorating the nursery. While that can bring you and your significant other closer together, don’t forget that you are two people with individual needs. Needs that do not always center around baby.
Creating some wonderful habits now, can help you stay close, and madly in love even while caring for a newborn.
Make Dating Your Spouse a Priority Now and Beyond
Karen Lynch of PegnancyAndBaby recommends making couple time a priority from the get-go. Having a “dating” schedule before the baby is born can help you continue one afterward.
It’s important that the fondness and affection you feel for each other doesn’t dwindle after the baby is born. It’s also important that the lines of communication remain open between you, especially during this transition. “Make time for each other right from the get-go. Get a babysitter lined up. Build in time as new parents where you will go out on dates. Learn how to trust other people with your child because you can’t do it all alone,” says Dr. Lusskin. ~PregnancyAndBaby
Know What to Expect and Expect the Changes
“Know that you’re definitely going to have relationship issues in the first three months,” says Cockrell. “There’s no way around it. Couples think they need couples therapy, but no, you have a newborn and you’re trying to redefine your relationship and figure out how the household is going to work and how you’re going to take care of baby.” The relationship tangles that ensnare so many new parents, she says, can be avoided by mutual understanding and clear communication. ~TheBump
Establish a Time to Vent, Discuss, and Check In
Choose a time – say dinner or first thing in the morning before work – to discuss anything that is on your mind about your schedule, the relationship, or problems you might be having. Make these discussions a normal part of your routine, so when the baby comes along, you already have an established time to vent or express whatever it is that is bothering you or needs improvement. Maschka warns against letting your frustrations build, which will likely cause a blowout of an argument. ~Newlyweds.About.Com
Know that things are going to change and it may be a struggle at times. You may even miss the before time with your partner. But, also know, that you will have a new bond that only the two parents of this new child can have.
“The first year, our relationship was good _and _bad. Bad because we were sleep deprived and, well, both my husband and I are grumpy without sleep. But our baby makes us happy. Our children make us laugh, smile and worry like we never had before, but it brings us closer together.” — bettysbabes5
So yes, there will be ups and downs, but something about having created a life together — and taking care of that life as a team — will bond you two in a whole new way. You may run into some bumps in the road, but you’ll also likely look at your partner singing to baby in the middle of the night, or teaching her to play patty-cake, and fall in love with him all over again. Think of babyhood as boot camp. If you guys can make it through this, you’ll be prepared to make it through almost anything. ~TheBump
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