#1 You can’t remember why you married your husband
For all the women who think that having a baby will make them and their man closer, nothing could be further from the truth. An unbelievable amount of stress is thrown at you as you adjust to being parents.
It doesn’t help that new moms are convinced men have no idea what a big challenge it is to care for a baby. They may resent having to handle the chores and the baby while the man feels more and more pressure to provide financially.
- Acknowledge right now that raising baby is hard and you will need help along the way. Let your husband know what you need from him and tell him what’s bothering you. He has no idea what’s going on in your head.
Contrary to what you may think, breastfeeding doesn’t happen naturally. It will feel natural after a few weeks but at first you need to work at it and be very patient. New moms feel pressure from family, doctors and even the baby to nurse immediately and perfectly, which is very rare.
Feedings need to be comfortable for you and your baby. Being stressed doesn’t help.
- If you are feeling particularly frustrated with the breastfeeding, talk to a lactation consultant. Stick to it and you’ll get it eventually
#3 You’re fat now
Squeezing back into your size 6 clothes will not be a piece of (rice) cake. Most women take at least a year to get back into their pre-pregnancy clothes and even then, your tummy won’t be as flat as it used to be and your hips will be wider; unless you have a personal trainer and full time nanny.
- The extra padding isn’t all bad, that’s where all the energy you need to breastfeed is stored. Enjoy your baby don’t be obsessed about the extra fat. You are the only one who notices it.
#4 What about work?
Many women need to go back to work after having a baby. For those mothers for whom going back to work or being a stay at home mom is a choice, it can be agonizing to have to pick. Stay at home moms will find that they miss their work and co-workers, while moms who go back to work will forever feel guilty about choosing work over their child.
- You should realize that your choice is not set in stone. Give yourself a trial period and figure out what you prefer. You can always change your mind if things aren’t working out, your decision to stay at home or work is not a choice you have to stick to for the rest of your life.
#5 Superwoman pressures
Women have a lot of pressure; they should always be dressed impeccably, their kids should always be happy, the house should always be spotless and your husband should have nothing but glowing remarks for you his superwoman.
- You don’t have to be constantly chatting to your baby or jump every time he cries. Your baby is happy staring at the ceiling fan every so often.
- Accept that a messy house is just part of having a baby.
- Take a shower, put your feet up and realize that babies cry, it’s not a sign of failure as a parent.
You will get lots of unsolicited advice about how you should raise your baby, say thank you for the tips and do what feels right for you.
First published parents.com