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Announcing an expected birth of a child does not happen every other day. It is an exciting period for any family knowing that soon they will have an addition. If you have had more than two children, chances are another pregnancy will not be considered as great news anymore. This is because we live in a society that has been socialized to have a certain number of children as acceptable. Going against the “norm” and peoples’ expectations may, therefore, make people a little bit unsettled.
While it may be exciting for the immediate family, it may be the case for the extended family, friends and other acquaintances. Of course, this can be very disappointing, a situation experienced by Chapman’s family.
When Andrea Chapman got pregnant for the first time, she had twin girls and “people were over-the-moon excited for us.”
Then came the second pregnancy — a boy — and friends were equally thrilled now that she and her husband had at least one child of each gender. But by the time she was expecting baby No. 4, Chapman was met with bewilderment.
“Nobody was excited. I think we went past what everyone’s idea for our family was,” she told TODAY.com. “For some reason, four is like this odd number in our culture today and it’s not celebrated the same way.”
If you find yourself in this situation, you should not be deterred. There are other ways of letting people know that you are pregnant without necessarily having to bear the blunt reactions from people. It is a good thing to know that you can do it differently and pass the message across. You just need to be a bit more creative. And adding a little bit more humor will also do you some good.
So that’s when Chapman penned a humorous song celebrating her latest addition’s arrival this August. She and her husband, Chad, made a video about it: “We Can’t Stop … Having Babies.”
The song is a parody of the Miley Cyrus tune “We Can’t Stop” and the chorus reminds everyone of a single message: “It’s our family, we can do what we want.”
The video shows the couple’s 4-year-old twins and 3-year-old son jumping on the couch and creating messes galore in various rooms, all while their frazzled parents happily embrace the chaos.
The video is quite hilarious. More interesting is the response it gets from the people who watch it. From the comments made, it is clear that there are many people who find themselves in this situation. There also others who would want to have large families and since they are aware that they will be disappointing some people, they are caught up in a dilemma.
Although most people want to have the number of children that they wish, the society around tends to have their expectations. In their minds, they have already decided the number of children that you should have based on reasons that are only known to them. These expectations could take a toll on any family albeit unconsciously.
Chapman, 29, said she came up with the idea for the song after hearing similar responses from people about her pregnancy.
“They said, ‘Oh, we thought you were done,’ and I was like, ‘Oh, we seem to not being able to stop having children.’ And then I thought of that Miley Cyrus song,” she said.
The couple received overwhelmingly positive response to the song, especially from others with “large” families. The video quickly went viral and the Chapmans have since made the song available for download.
Within a short time, the video went viral. This is because it represented a vast majority of people who are under pressure just because they refuse to live as per other people’s expectations thus seen to have defied the norm. It breaks the barriers and frees families into making decisions that are favorable for them. They no longer have to feel like they have to answer to everybody on issues that will mostly affect them as a family.
“Can’t you see it’s we who’ll be up all night? Can’t you see it’s we who love this life?” Chapman points out in the song.
She later reminds naysayers: “It’s my body, I can grow who I want to.”
Chapman said that line in particular has resonated with women.
“It’s empowering for women, especially [those] who are pregnant with their fourth or fifth and they’re getting negative comments from people,” she said. “You have just as much right to not have children as you do to have 10, if you want, because it’s your body.”
At the end of it all, the decision to have or not have children and the number of children to have is entirely dependent on the husband and wife. Of course, this does not put away the naysayers or stop anyone towards expressing their opinion. It simply means that there are times when a decision has to be made. It may not be popular but everyone else will just have to get along with it.
As long as the family is happy and the parents are capable, the rest will only remain as opinions. They should just be treated as such.
“I never thought we would be part of the big-family club,” she admitted, although she and her husband are “very happy” about their newest addition, who will be a boy.
Chapman also joked she was happy about finally using the musical skills she fine-tuned while studying voice in school.
“After four expensive years of college, this is my first thing I’ve ever done,” she said. “I’m sure my parents are proud of paying for all that for a parody video.”
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